*School Assignment*

One of my greatest failings in life is my temper. I have worked my whole life to control it. It is still there, under the surface, but the demeanor you see on my face is just like the ocean. Calm and placid. Underneath, there are many currents. This fuels me, but I always have to be aware of it coming out at the wrong time.

Months ago, I was disciplining an employee who broke the rules where I work. There was a moderated discussion, and this employee was using every excuse and hypothetical scenario to try and undermine what I was doing. The moderator and the other manager in the room allowed this behavior to go on, so I felt compelled to respond to it. At one point the conversation got heated, because the employee was calling me a liar and stating that he was never told certain things by me.

It was my mistake. I had made the mistake of telling the employee certain things, but not documenting those discussions. I had assumed he would not lie when confronted. I believed that this employee would respond with integrity and character. He did not.

I went from being professional to upset because being called a liar was a personal, not a professional attack. I made a mistake, and although I calmed down and the discussion ended with the result I was seeking, I was disappointed that I had let this employee get to me in that regard. He had reduced my character and professionalism and all my hard work had failed me, if only got an instant.

I learned that day, that when it comes to conflict, there will always be emotion involved. It is a fallacy to think emotions will be removed from any conflict. However, if you are prepared you will have a better chance at success than the person who is unprepared. Since that day, I document as much as I can with any coaching of an employee. The Manager’s Guide to Workplace Coaching says; “”Keep a written record. Keep a record…for your employee. It gives you a clear record for any corrective actions at a later date.” (Feldman, 2001). In subsequent conversations, things have gone more smoothly because of the written record I can produce, which preemptively defuses conversations early. Instead of sensing an attack, the employee sees how many times I have spoken to them for trying to help.

In the future, I will use this tactic and encourage everyone to do the same. There can be no avoiding conflict at times, but you can prepare for it always.


References

Feldman, D. (2001). The Manager’s Guide to Workplace Coaching

HRD Press; January 1, 2001

(http://my.safaribooksonline.com/book/-/9780874256345)